Keeping with my tradition of selecting a theme from favorite TV shows (Gossip Girl turkey and Rachel Zoe Project turkeys), I’ve chosen Mad Men as my theme this year. Fancy, also keeping with tradition (Rob Pattinson turkey #1 and “Happy Fangs-giving” turkey AKA Rob Pattinson turkey #2), has selected another scary movie staple: zombies of course!

We hope you enjoy our craftiness in the gallery below. Click on the “i” in the upper right corner of the gallery and you’ll get a caption too! Happy Thanksgiving!

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"Second-Day Hair" Fail

So I’m kind of a raging skankbot today.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been trying this new thing where I don’t wash my hair. I’m not saying I don’t wash it EVER! I’m just trying to achieve that mythical and ever elusive “second-day hair.”

Ken Paves (who no matter what jeans she wears, has Jessica Simpson’s hair looking flawless) purports that it’s more than okay to “skip shampooing for a day. Second-day hair often looks fuller and thicker. It’s rare that someone HAS to shampoo daily, unless you exercise or perspire a lot.”

Or if, as has previously been the case for me, you have really long fine hair that just hangs. Because of my hair type I’ve never been able to understand what this “second-day hair” nonsense is all about. So what if it’s better for your hair if it only makes it look worse in the meantime!

But, now that my hair is cut short, I’ve been trying to “train” it to go every other day without shampooing. Thus far, the results have been inconclusive. Some days I end up with a bit more volume and a cute flip at the ends. Other days I look like I’m supplying the grease for the fry station at McDonald’s. Today is one of those days.

Which mean that later this afternoon I’ll be rolling up to a business meeting, looking less like a late 20s professional and more like a college kid who stumbled out of bed in her jammies for an 8 am Geology lecture. There I’ll sit across the conference room from VPs and directors who will probably wonder what the fuck is up with my hair. You and me both, buddy. You and me both. That said, who knows- maybe it’ll work in my favor. Maybe they’ll think I’m destitute or depressed and that they should pay me more so that I can buy shampoo and be happy. Hmmm….

Anyhow, the few things I can impart from my little experiment is that having shorter and/or darker hair is far preferable than long and/or blonde hair. And when trying to style my hair, I’ve found dry shampoos can be helpful, but are certainly not the same as regular shampoos. Also, you have to be careful with them; too much will have you looking like you’re sporting a powdered wig from the days of yore! I’ve tried aerosol hair spray too (with drying alcohol) and that seems to work well enough.

One of these days though, I feel certain that my hair will fall into line, that it will get with the program, and that I will win. I. Will. Win. Dammit. And as long as I don’t end up looking like the smarm king himself up there, Mr. Rob “I-Don’t-Wash-My-Hair-For-Six-Weeks” Pattinson, I’ll count myself successful.

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You’re likely to have seen them before (and given their nature, embedding is unfortunately disabled), but as they say, sharing is caring! So click the links and watch them anyway dammit. I hope they brighten your day too…

• The Jam Wedding. It’s still on my Tivo, and yes, I still watch it. The part at the end when they’re on the boat: it gives me chills and makes me tear up. Every. Single. Time. 
• Yes, indeed. What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? The boyfriend and I were singing this song in bed before we went to sleep last night. He gets it. We’re silly and still make each other laugh a lot. 
• Speaking of my boyfriend, he tells me that Kristin Chenoweth is like a “singing pocket gnome” because, you know, “she sings and she’s tiny and could fit in your pocket” or something like that. So, um yeah, there’s that. Anyway, even though I’m no Twi-hard I still saw the movies (yes, really) and am thus “in” on the joke and find this entertaining. 
• Rock the fuck out, Madagascar! Found this and tweeted about it over the holidays. It’s cheesy, yes. But there’s something about it that I just, well, I just love. You’ll find Haiti singing at 2:52, which gives me the opportunity to add that (for anyone in the U.S.) any donations made by the end of February can be deducted from your 2009 tax filing.

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Rob Pattinson Turkey, the Second

Who knew GDF could one-up herself from last year’s Rob Pattinson Turkey? Once again, it’s a plethora, a veritable smorgasbord of R. Patt goodness. Nom nom nom. And then there’s my feeble attempt (just ignore the misspelled “your” please…we were mid-craft hour when we were let out of work early).

Bless-ed jewel....Braditude.....debatable womanhood...it's a Rachel Zoe Project Thanksgiving!

For those of you who haven’t seen The Rachel Zoe Project and cannot fully appreciate the blurbs, here’s a little parody to bring you in the loop…

P.S. US Weekly, you are neither an officer nor a gentleman for trying to scoop us with your paltry un-handcrafted celeb turkeys. For shame!

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Oh, just jump the shark already!

I don’t worship at Our Lady of Twilight Cathedral. I don’t pay homage to the sparkly skin of Edward Cullen. I’ve never read the books and, until last night when I conducted some “research,” I hadn’t seen the movie either. So I haven’t really understood the mass hysteria of this seemingly endless vampire trend- the movies and TV shows, the books and character inspired clothing and crafts, the lip glosses and nail polishes and freaking conferences.

What I do finally understand is the fascination with Edward and his love for Bella. As my resident Twilight fanatic and expert, GDF, puts it, “He is the perfect man.” Oh Edward, let us count the ways…

• He has that “unattainable” quality that drives women wild and often leads us to our own emotional peril.
• He can move really fast- none of that X box playing couch lazing shit for him!
• His aforementioned skin is like diamonds….he’s “so pretty” as Bella says.
• He and his manners are from another time- literally. Asking for permission to take Bella on a date, making sure she eats, opening car doors, barely being able to touch or kiss her (although that’s more because she’s a food source) all make him stand out from the other d-bags operating at Forks High.
• He plays the piano whilst strategically back-lit because, let’s face it, is there any other way?
• He feels “oddly protective” of Bella, which as we know takes shape in his conveniently being on-hand each time misfortune calls….as well as on-hand to watch her sleep.
• He invokes The Specialness Factor, or what I think of as perhaps the strongest thing a guy can do to win a gal. Bella is special to him, unique. There has never been and will never be again anyone else who can have that effect on him. It’s amazing what sins “but he made me feel special” will cover up, including being a vampire.

With all of that in play, I can easily see how women have “fallen for” the Edward and Bella love story. It’s not about vampires. It’s about their ”perfectly imperfect love.” And there’s the crux, I think. Edward loves Bella the way that all women want to be loved.

We want to be the one that the unattainable guy puts on a pedestal, want to feel special and cherished by the man who loves us. We want to be protected and romanced and don’t want to worry about giving in or giving over or giving up too much because the relationship is pure and safe and “perfect.” It’s juvenile in it’s simplicity, but Edward is some version of an ideal, a modern Prince Charming.

But the tricky thing about idealizing a love story like this is that it’s just that- a story. The characters may not be real, but the boundaryless addiction they share can be.  Which gives me pause. I have to wonder how fantasizing about the relationship portrayed will affect the 11, 12, even 19 year old girls who are reading and internalizing these stories. I wonder what kinds of possessiveness it will encourage them to condone in their own lives one day. I wonder and I begin to worry.

It’s unhealthy and it’s a bad example. The Twilight love story between Bella and Edward is showing a younger generation of girls that possessiveness and “enmeshment” within relationships is something to be sought after and idealized and I find that incredibly dangerous.

In a novel, a character like Edward can act as he does because he isn’t real- the dark side of his “protectiveness” and “ownership” of Bella doesn’t exist because it is literally left unwritten. In real life, character traits like his are more likely to bring a darker side along with them. We know that darker side as emotionally abusive and controlling, toxic and addictive. Edward himself tells Bella, “it’s like you’re my heroin.” Which raises the question, when is any addiction within a relationship- whether it’s heroin or food or sex or otherwise- ever admirable, let alone healthy? And what kind of love story are we really idealizing here?

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