Thirteen years ago, I found myself camping with my family at Circus Circus in Las Vegas. Camping. The “campground” consisted of a shadeless black top parking lot and our camper was without air conditioning. In the July heat of 104 degrees at 8 in the morning. Too young to gamble or drink, too sunburned to wear anything except [...]
Last week, my dear sweet mother manipulated me. She began her behest innocuously enough with a whisper into the phone: “Shhhh…don’t tell your father,” she said as I heard her hastily scamper into another room in the background and shut the door. “I have money I want you to take to your brothers when you [...]
Two years ago, I got an email from you. You didn’t know my name, didn’t know my hair color or smile or laughter. You didn’t know the way my hand would feel in yours, didn’t know if there’d be a first date. You didn’t know how your words would resonate. You told me not to [...]
You know what? Enough is enough. I’ve been ageist before and I’m about to be again. Except this time, I’m going after all those Crabby Ass Old People. Fucking toolbags. Seriously. It’s been a morning and I’ve had it with their janky ass bullshit. I mean, if you’re just going to go around making everyone [...]
I have a scone to pick with Starbucks. In particular, one Starbucks. Otherwise known as the Starbucks Coffee Shop of Lowered Self-Esteem. Seriously. Getting coffee at this one location actually makes me feel bad about myself. It’s sad because it’s true. This, of course, would also mean that it is the most convenient Starbucks for me [...]
One otherwise unmemorable night, my boyfriend and I sat watching T.V., each on our respective sides of his couch. My legs stretched out across the fabric, bridging the gap, and we talked of forgettable things. Maybe how stupid that 2012 movie was, how my janky knee was calling for rain, maybe even debated the level [...]
“This shouldn’t hurt a bit,” the intern told me as she pricked the skin of my shin. “Anything?” “No, not really,” I admitted even though I did feel the needle poke and settle. I laid there on the acupuncturist’s table and tried to think of more pleasant things as she continued. Whales swimming south from [...]
