True Story: What I “Learned” in Sex Ed

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Perhaps it should first be noted that these random MAGICAL musings are brought to you by some wicked 3 a.m. insomnia. So, whilst lying in bed tweeting and challenging my Google Reader to a duel (you may say 78 unread, but I. Will. Win.), my mind wandered to some, er,  different places. Apparently, a lot [...]

My Ever-Lasting Bra Strap Fishing Expedition

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

It really is never ending, people. And I just don’t understand it.
I go to Victoria’s Secret. I get fitted for a bra (don’t get too excited boys- no nudity or boob fondling is involved), which is generally a sad experiment because each attempt seems to yield a different result. 32B. 34A. 34B. Triumph! They’re getting [...]

Just Think of “Oliver”

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Last July, my boyfriend was laid off, then hired back a week later- albeit with a demotion that has taken him seven years back in his career with a major cut in pay and removal of any bonus options. I didn’t write about it at the time or since because he specifically asked me not [...]

Sick Dialing

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Boyfriend: “Hey. What’s up?”
Me (snot-laden and “sick dialing” from under a blanket): “Oh nothing. I was just, you know, thinking…don’t cheat on me, okay? That would suck.”
Boyfriend: “Huh? Where did that come from? Are you okay?”
Me: “Yeah, I’m just feeling gross and uncute and I just watched He’s Just Not That Into You on HBO for [...]

Man-Boys: What’s a Girl to Do?

Friday, November 13th, 2009

It may sound like that tired old adage, but I have to ask- exactly what does a man serve to gain by getting married anymore when he seemingly can get as much, if not more, by not? Or, alternatively as my friend Emo says, “why lock it down when you can get The Ill-Freaky Na-Na [...]

Preggers Scare ‘09

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

I mostly blame that show, “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.” Have you seen it? Who am I kidding, of course you have. That thing is like a freaking car crash. You don’t want to watch it, but you do with that perma-frown of disgust on your face. In fact, if you’re anything like me, [...]

Ah, Ah, Ahhhh, Oh Yeah!

Friday, June 19th, 2009

The mounting moaning, the slap of skin on skin, the playful laughter, the smack of an ass. No, I haven’t been watching porn or The Tudors (holy hell, that show’s like soft-core). I’ve been treated yet again to my own pornographic audio courtesy of the reliable Hormone Factory next door.
At this point, I don’t know [...]