Dear Pilfered Lunch-time Fork: We had some good times, you and I, during office lunch breaks and coworker birthday celebrations. Whether in the lunch room or at my desk, we ate many a waffle, pasta salad, and guilt-laced cake. Oh the cakes! Remember the cakes? And all those times the time we absolutely destroyed that [...]
So, I have some news. I’m moving in with my boyfriend. In 14 days. The decision was made over a month ago and I’ve wanted to write about it ever since, but it hasn’t exactly been a happy occurrence. In fact, my days and insomnia-filled nights have been rife with doubt, anxiety, disappointment, and grasping [...]
So there I am, sitting on the bus the other morning, minding my own bee’s wax, when I notice the couple sitting next to me. As does the all male contingent sitting all around me, sporting many a scornful face and much eye rolling. See, the couple sitting next to me turned out to be [...]
Okay, I admit it. I can be a teensy bit overdramatic when it comes to being sick. But, then again, I’ve had some pretty janky ass illnesses (see: The Cough). So, when this past January found me rolling around in the dark in bed one night with side pain so severe I thought my appendix had [...]
You know what? Enough is enough. I’ve been ageist before and I’m about to be again. Except this time, I’m going after all those Crabby Ass Old People. Fucking toolbags. Seriously. It’s been a morning and I’ve had it with their janky ass bullshit. I mean, if you’re just going to go around making everyone [...]
I haven’t written in nearly a month. Instead of writing, I’ve been cooped up with my thoughts. I can’t seem to escape them. I can’t seem to articulate them. And I can’t seem to come to much of a conclusion except to say I keep feeling like life is passing me by. All around me [...]
Dear Upstairs Neighbor, You suck. I hate you. Also, you are a selfish and inconsiderate fuckwad. That’s right, fuckwad. You make me so angry that I invent new words in moments of utter seething as a result of your selfishness and inconsideracies. See? Another fake word. As much as I’ve obviously enjoyed being forced to [...]
