If Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love and sex, passion and romance; what does it mean if you don’t have sex with your significant other? Sunday night, I took care in donning my thigh high stockings, lace and silk slip, 5 inch heels, and LBD for dinner with my boyfriend. It was a….hopeful little [...]
It really is never ending, people. And I just don’t understand it. I go to Victoria’s Secret. I get fitted for a bra (don’t get too excited boys- no nudity or boob fondling is involved), which is generally a sad experiment because each attempt seems to yield a different result. 32B. 34A. 34B. Triumph! They’re [...]
Twelve hours of baking, two trips to the grocery store for forgotten ingredients (by my helpful boyfriend, AKA the “cookie-razzi”), and one pumpkin beer later… Ta-Da!!! For recipe requests, send an email to nicnarrates at gmail.
It may sound like that tired old adage, but I have to ask- exactly what does a man serve to gain by getting married anymore when he seemingly can get as much, if not more, by not? Or, alternatively as my friend Emo says, “why lock it down when you can get The Ill-Freaky Na-Na [...]
Recently, I was called, albeit in jest (sort of), vanilla. Vanilla. As in, yawn, “boring,” “blah,” “mundane,” “safe,” “meh.” Vanilla. Vanilla. Isn’t that, like, an insult or something? Isn’t being vanilla a bad thing? What is it supposed to mean if I’m vanilla? Am I? And if I am, would I be one of those [...]
There it sits on the tip of my tongue. I’m on the verge; toes poking out over the edge. Can you tell? We were laughing over ice cream one night. We had gone and gorged ourselves on hot dogs beforehand and somehow rolled ourselves down the street to the Coldstone. And, while I toiled away [...]
The mounting moaning, the slap of skin on skin, the playful laughter, the smack of an ass. No, I haven’t been watching porn or The Tudors (holy hell, that show’s like soft-core). I’ve been treated yet again to my own pornographic audio courtesy of the reliable Hormone Factory next door. At this point, I don’t [...]
