Nic Narrates

Recently, my dad and I had the opportunity to have lunch together and somehow got onto the subject of my grandpa.

“I miss him,” I admitted. “Grandpa had a singular ability to always make me feel special- like every day was my birthday.”

As the words slipped from my mouth, I suddenly realized why my birthday often ends in tears or sadness. Because it’s over. Because my special day and the specialness I’m allowed to bask in is at an end. Because I tend to question whether I’ve made the most of it. Because until next year, that’s it.

Having that one day a year when I’m The Birthday Girl, savoring the attention, can place a lot of pressure on the day itself and the people with whom I spend it. In prior years, I’ve taken some exciting  trips, made exceptional purchases, and shared fancy dinners which have certainly proven memorable and hard to top! One year, I was even shit on!

For this birthday, however, I chose a quiet weekend at home. I went for an after work drink with Fancy, and saw the jellies exhibit at the Shedd and shared dinner with my parents. On the day itself, I took Wendy with me to get gelato with a thoughtful friend, went bike shopping with my boyfriend, took an epic and mimosa-induced nap, then had dinner at the Signature Room at sunset. And I felt happy.

At 31, there were no tears when the sun set and the frenetic lights began to twinkle on the streets 95 floors below. At 31, there finally came acceptance and recognition instead. Acceptance that the “specialness” I miss so much and grasp at during my birthday each year is as fleeting as the people who have come and gone in my life. And recognition that the people who are still here, the people I appreciate and love dearly, made time in their busy schedules just for me on the occasion of my birthday.

Being able to share that time and create those memories with them couldn’t have been more special to me.

Filed under: a thing of beauty, awesomeness, family, fanciness, friends, no birthday tears please, nostalgia by Nic