Observations on Becoming a Dog Mom
Friday, April 1st, 2011
Wendy & Francesca the Lady Bug
Before getting a dog of my own, I always imagined it would be the grodiest thing ever to go around picking up dog poop every time you took the dog outside. The very idea of it with that flimsy and presumably leaky little plastic bag, the stench, the heat- picking up dookie was the one thing I really had concerns about when owning a dog. I even used to joke I’d have to get a special “oven mitt” to buffer my hand from having to feel what it was actually picking up!
Well, that was all before Wendy. Before I knew what kind of dog mom I’d be.
Turns out, not only will I pick up the poop without hesitation or disgust, I will vociferously cheer her on so she knows just how proud her mom is of her. “Such a good girl! Oh my goodness, I can’t even stand it. No, I can’t. Dats Mom’s guuurl. Oh, I love you Honey Bear. Oh, okay! Let’s go! Good girl!”
Yes, all of that is said aloud and yes, other people have heard me while passing by on the sidewalk. So?
Beyond the necessary measure of picking up after Wendy, what has really proven surprising about the whole ordeal is that I am willing to actually wipe her butt. For real. Because sometimes stuff gets stuck back there and not only is it uncomfortable for her, but it’s unsightly and unsanitary and it’s not like she can wipe it off herself! So, yeah. Doggie butt wipes. I know. Pre-dog, I’d have been aghast too. Turns out, they even sell them at Petco (but it’s cheaper if you just buy the people ones).
As for the cosmetic upkeep of my dog, I honest to goodness worry what people will think when I take Wendy out into public. She’s a cute breed and gets a lot of smiles and coos, but half the time her eyes are running down her face and her fur looks matted from her fiesta of lolling about on her back for 16.2 hours a day. I mean, what if people get the wrong impression? What if they begin to assume that she just rolls out of bed, dresses herself in whatever half-clean sweater and mismatched collar is laying around, and rolls into daycare 20 minutes late without having first run a comb through her hair or washed her face. Oh wait, that’s me.
Admittedly, the unexpected concern about being judged largely stems from taking Wendy to doggie daycare (to combat my 12 hour workday/commute). Even though it costs a serious buttload- my second biggest expense each month-it’s been wonderful for both her and for me. She is looked after by the “pooch pals,” has her own bed and toys for “nap time,” and spends time socializing with other dogs during “group time,”gets a daily “report card,” and I can watch her on their web cam.
And yet, every time I drop her off, I worry about how she is perceived by the daycare owners, the staff, and even the other dog owners. Most of all, I worry about what they think of me as her dog mom and imagine them critiquing my failings one by one.
“She’d be so cute if only her mommy would wash her eyes properly rather than let them run down her face…and did you see how matted her fur was this morning? You’d think she’s never had a bath or a brushing in her life! Poor Wendy!”
I worry about these sorts of things now because I recognize that my dog is a reflection upon me, because I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and become one of THOSE people, because life isn’t just about me anymore. Before becoming a dog mom, I never realized how much I would feel compelled to nurture and protect her, how closely I would examine every food label, how I’d envision countless scenarios of possible injury in an attempt at prevention, how I’d literally step into traffic to save her. Nearly every day I marvel at just how much I love her, how happy she makes me, and how she’s bringing out parts of me that weren’t there before.
Like the part that picks up dog shit without disgust or complaint (seriously though- the HEAT!). The part that wipes her butt. The part that tries no fewer than six different kinds of tear stain solutions. The part that ponies up for doggie daycare. The part that Google’s “mint chapstick, dog, ingested” at 3 am and refuses to go back to sleep just in case. The part that realizes all the things before that seemed weird, crazy, disgusting, or annoying, now just aren’t.
Thanks for the tip on the people butt wipes, I still fall for the doggie butt wipes every time.
I too made fun of dog people, especially those that bought sweaters, coats, and (gasp!) even boots for their furry friends. I laughed at how overboard and completely unnecessary I deemed those items to be and thought, “If I had a dog I would NEVER do that.” I even scoffed at Barkery biscuits and doggie cupcakes and openly glared at outdoor diners who brought their furry companions.
That was two years ago. Since then I adopted one greyhound, thought she was lonely, so I picked up another. I coo and praise them and talk silly nonsense to them on city sidewalks in my neighborhood and let them know to “find a poo-place and you will get a big ol’hound biscuit”, and when they do poo they get the whole “good job” routine like they have accomplished a major goal. I explain loudly to them that other dogs “don’t want to play, they have other things to do and are very busy” when dogs don’t stop to sniff butts with us, because for some reason I think my houndage has had their feelings hurt when their wagging tails and play dances were ignored. I dress them in sweaters if it is below 45 degrees and they have coats, snoods, and boots for cold weather. I have evolved into that dog person I made so much fun of, but just like you, I am completely okay with it. I realize they depend on me for butt wiping and poo picking up and special treats and it is up to me to make sure they feel special because they make me feel so special.
So rock on with your new addition and be a proud pet parent!
I’m so glad you found Wendy! I have to say, I love, LOVE Mummy’s Little Hero (not his actual name, can you imagine shouting that in the park? Although I do call him ‘my smelly monster’ in a baby voice in public…) but the butt wiping and the poop-a-scooping are things I’ve never gotten used to and abhor. When we bought him (my ex and I), we had a deal that he’d do all the scooping and ‘Mummy’s for cuddles’… well, you know how that went!
Wendy and Francesca are so cute! x