Who The Fuck Is Sharon
Tuesday, March 1st, 2011About a week ago, I started getting a strange text message. One of those that is all “familiar” and such, but you have no idea who it’s from. Which is odd because I’ve had the same number for over 2 years now. Anyway, as odd as the text was, I ignored it and its strange contents. Until…
I got the same text again the following day. And the day after that. And later on that same evening. Same weird ass message. Same broken English. Same mention of God and junk. Same “‘love Sharon.”
Which is when “Sharon” became “Who the Fuck is Sharon” in my contacts. That’s right, I have a contact listed as “Who the Fuck is Sharon.” Because, seriously, who the fuck is Sharon? All I’ve been able to gather thus far is that she’s very concerned about my well-being and is apparently quite the persistent communicator.
In the end, however, I decided to set Who the Fuck is Sharon straight. In doing so, I chose what I hoped would be a polite and yet lightly offensive tone in an effort to be effective. There really is little more that I am irked by than when someone gets all “Jesus-People” on me. Your beliefs are YOUR beliefs- let’s keep them that way.
Based on Who the Fuck is Sharon’s response, I guess I should have signed it ”Lucifer.”
Clearly, I need to text you more and sign it “sharon” so you can rename me as “why the fuck is jess signing it as sharon” in your contacts
Facetime soon? Or IRL meet up??
Dear Why The Fuck Is Jess Signing It As Sharon:
Yes and yes. I haven’t been able to FaceTime yet. Sounds fancy. Also, scary! You’ll see just how skanky I am on a workday!
Xoxo,
Not Mary