Nic Narrates

I am officially in training. No, not for a marathon or a half-marathon or any other 3 or 5K run or walk thingamajig. And no, I’m not doing the 7 Day Shred or the Couch to 5K Challenge or whatever that’s called. Kudos to all of you who are by the way! Instead, the training I’m undergoing is of a very different nature.

I am officially in training for Napa Valley. In a matter of weeks, Graphic Designer Friend (who we’re just going to call Fancy from here on out because a) she’s fancy, and b) that’s what I call her anyway) and I are heading to San Francisco and the wine country. Which means, much of my free time these days involves reading about and, oh yeah, drinking wine.*

Each night for the next couple of weeks, I’ll be training my palette and raising my tolerance level. My end goal is to get used to imbibing wine on the regular (ideally 3 glasses in a sitting) without automatically RSVPing to a headache brunch in the morning.

This training is also necessary as my subconscious appears to be sincerely worried about my drinking abilities “in the field.” Namely, the other night I dreamed that owing to my surly drunkenness, Fancy and I ended up missing our Super Awesome Dinner Reservations at Foreign Cinema in San Fran, as well as Girl & the Fig and Mustard’s Grill in Napa and didn’t even realize it until the fourth day.

It should be noted that the terror with which I pointed this out to her was such that we both broke into a drunken snotfest of tears on the side of a dirt road where we kicked tree trunks and wailed into the folds of our wine-stained sundresses. Why we were on the side of a road and not in our rental or on the kickass Wine Train (!) is still a mystery, but suffice it to say, Napa had defeated us. Quelle nightmare!

Thus, my concern and need for training is obviously real. And we need to be on our game.

Our trip to wine country is singularly important. To us, it is a pilgrimage. Some people journey to the Holy Land, others to Mecca. Fancy and I? We’re sojourning to the cathedrals of Mumm and Trefethen, et. al. And, like good little believers, we’ll be prepared body and soul.

*This “drinking in my free time” thing is a short-term necessity and strictly professional. I promise, there is no need for you to plan an intervention. Unless, it’s with Dr. Drew. Then, be my guest. On a related note, Fancy informs me that there’s currently six bottles of wine and a case of “summer brews” chillaxing on her desk because somebody went to Cost Plus World Market on somebody’s lunch hour.

Filed under: a thing of beauty, awesomeness, crash and burn, creative time management, educating the masses, fanciness, friends, going postal, hellacious fun, must be a sign, wanderlust by Nic