I’ll Take My Romance Unsweetened
Thursday, July 29th, 2010I’ve been thinking a lot about romance lately. What it looks like, what it’s symbolized by; what counts as romance and what doesn’t.
I used to believe that romance was about Grand Gestures- things like full-on floral bouquets, hand-scrawled love letters and cards, and thoughtfully planned out dates. A younger me believed romance was a very showy thing, and it was. From time to time, that show was for me- the flowers, the cards, the dates. But inevitably, the reckoning would come, and I’d realize all that “romance” was just a show. And every show comes to an end eventually.
These were the thoughts, the new beliefs, that filled my mind the other morning as I walked down the street to drive to work. Tumbling around and around…Do I have romance in my relationship? Am I a romantic person? What’s romantic to him? And then, I saw it. There on the windshield of one of the cars was a single flower tucked away with care. A daylily, surreptitiously picked from a flower garden at the corner.
I paused as I looked at it, thinking about the person who woke up early and left it there. I thought about the surprise waiting for whomever it was intended. It was small and insignificant, it wasn’t Grand Gesture Romantic, but it was kindness. It didn’t cost a thing, but it felt like romance in its purest form. Simple. Honest. True. And in that moment, the kindness between those people touched me too.
Maybe romance is less about the great and the grand, and more about everyday kindnesses that accumulate over time, accumulate and last.
Walking away, I was surprised but happy to realize I didn’t envy them their romance. I could smile at it and move on. I didn’t even hope against hope there’d be a flower waiting for me too. But, by the time I reached the car (my boyfriend’s, I should note, which he’s graciously given me the keys to) and opened the door, I found my own reason to smile.
Sometimes, romance is a daylily left behind on an early morning windshield. Other times, it’s a shiny new six pack of unsweetened iced tea placed in the car at the start of a hard work week.
I completely agree with you on this, while the grand gestures in life can be nice, it really is, not even the little things, but the things that people do to show us that they have taken note.
Very cool indeed.
What a lovely post. We get too caught up in the superficial gestures that define romance.
In the everyday rush that seems to be life, the kindest and most romantic thing my b/f did for me was to sit still and be silent; together. Not worrying that he had somewhere else to be too.
Groupie- I thought you might like this one! Thanks for the comment today!
Gekkogirl- I love that…he sat still with you and made you feel there was nowhere else he’d rather be. Love love love that. Poetic too.
You’ve inspired me to do a complimentary post on my definition of romance, which I will post at some point.
And you know this is exactly the kind of commentary I had in mind for my ‘romance book’. Which might happen. One day.
I used to think romance was all about the big grand gestures too but really, for me, the little things matter the most. That makes me the happiest.
Groupie- I inspired you? Really? Can I just say my blogger’s heart ate that right up? Thank you.
Jessica- I don’t know if there’s a learning curve or if it just takes time to see the little things, but they really do add up!