Wireless Connection
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010Last night, my boyfriend sat slumped over my laptop. He was showing me his commitment, his desire to be with me. And I was showing him my openness to change, my desire to be with him.
In the wake of our trip to Seattle and Alaska, a decision was reached: no more retreating to our separate apartments more often than not, no more hiding out in the familiarity of our “single person” routines. We decided it was time to either live together or begin spending more time at each other’s places- living together “light” if you will. For now, we decided on the latter, which still meant certain changes had to be made in the interim.
First, I’d need to purchase and leave all of the toiletries required and some key pieces of clothing at his place so that I’m able to go directly to work. Second, he’d need to purchase and install a wireless router at my place so that he can use his work laptop while staying over (he’s “on call” 24 hours a day in case the Internet explodes or some junk).
With my shampoo and conditioner and his router each in their respective places, it’s now up to us to change our behaviors to match our logistical planning. It’s up to us to actually make the effort to spend more time together. “Moment of truth” stuff.
Later, after the wireless router decided to cooperate and maintain its connection, after we’d gone to bed still exhausted from Pitchfork over the weekend, I laid awake thinking about all that was changing. Maybe it’s subtle at the moment, maybe it hasn’t quite reached the point of keys being exchanged, but suddenly it seemed like much more than just the Internet had come untethered in my home.
In becoming more committed to my boyfriend and to our relationship, I’d somehow also become less in control of my own living space. Now there’s someone else typing on the computer across my living room, someone else tossing and turning in my bed beside me, someone else flipping through channels on my TV, someone else’s insatiable need for Diet Pepsi aghast at my empty refrigerator.
And then, there it was- the realization that I’ve never opened up my home to someone else in this way before. I’ve never needed or wanted to, never reached that “place” with someone. The truth is, no one’s ever tried to be a part of my life in the ways that he is now.
Last night, I gained a new connection to the Internet…and to him.
aww. this post makes me happy! “living together light.” what a good way to ease into it. can’t wait to hear more about how it’s going.
I like this post so much and I, too, am looking forward to an insight into how this works for you both.
It’s such a massive step and I admire that you are doing it this way, with compromise.
Good luck, not that I believe you will need it!
What an interesting read for me. In all my years of dating, living together lite and actually living together came really naturally to me and my significant other(s). There was no specific point in the relationship I can remember where we made these types of decisions. That said, I think it’s really remarkable you’ve made it to this point in your relationship and both seem to be on the same page.
megabrooke- Thank you! I’ve been thinking a lot about you and how you and Manfriend planned to live together and now are. I hope that things are going well, that he’s feeling better, and that there’s still much jumping about when you get home each night. I’ll keep you posted with how our living together light pans out!
Groupie- I’m glad you liked the post. Are you cohabitating? I know you’re planning the wedding, but for some reason I can’t remember or missed if you’re living together while doing so. Wishing you luck with the job outlook! Fingers crossed!
Nilsa- Lucky girl! I can’t help but think you must have had/ continue to have an absolutely blessed experience with relationships! Me? My boyfriend? Not so much- we question everything! So, as far as everything just “falling into place,” I don’t think we’re that kind of couple. I admit that our approach to “shacking up” probably doesn’t seem like the most “romantic” one, but it’s right for us. Anyway, hope you’re feeling better this week!
Oh my gosh this is so exciting!!! You mentioned this may be happening but not that it was for sure! I’m so happy for you guys. What wireless router do you use? I love my Airport one. It’s so easy to set up.
Oh how wonderful
I remember doing the “lite” thing – I hope things go really really well.
Xx
Hi Nic, I do indeed cohabit.
I moved straight back from Canada and in with my man, which I admit was risky, but he’s so laid back and we get on very well.
I am very lucky as sharing your space is not an easy thing.
I think to me the hardest thing is not so much sharing the physical space, but getting time with myself to think..
Hence long baths and lockable bathrooms!
You are doing it the ideal way, and I hope it pays off, it sounds like you have a great connection.
I really like this post too. It sounds like you are in a great place, where you can just ‘be’ around each other – I think it’s actually quite hard to get here and keep the balance right, and your emphasis on making the effort is a good point.
For the first time this weekend, I’m having Zach over for two consecutive nights: and the thought is a bit scary. How will I cope keeping him fed and entertained and looking my most fabulous for nigh on three days?! Eek.
Woot! This post makes me wicked happy.
I’d never opened up my home in that way either until Brian came along. Sometimes his living habits get on my very last nerve — like, why does he use the living room couch as his clothes closet or the kitchen counter as his tool bench? — but choosing to cohabitate with him was once of the best decisions I’ve made to date. I wish the very same for you!