Nic Narrates

I took the time to read the post. I read it thoughtfully and empathically. And when I finished, I decided to provide some thoughts in the comments. I was honest and well-meaning and not at all inflammatory. However, I gave advice that was not necessarily what the writer of the post wanted to hear. I’m just not the kind of reader or IRL friend who only says things to make other people feel better. I give them the truth as I see it. My friends continue to come to me with concerns and problems and get that kind of advice from me, so I must assume that I’m not that terrible at providing my perspective.

And yet, the comment never posted, was never approved. In finding that to be the case, I immediately felt insulted, incensed even. And then, I laughed at the absurdity of the blogger who refused to share my advice with the rest of the readers, to allow my words to be a part of the conversation. I had been censored.

As a blogger for four years, I’ve only ever committed the same error of judgment on one occasion. It was my own ignorance that prompted me to do so. My commenter had written what I thought was “IMAO,” and I immediately had to google it to learn what it meant. In my arrogant opinion. Huh. Well, that’s just stupid and hateful, I thought at the time. And then I realized that the “I” wasn’t an “I” at all but instead a lower case “L.” Laughing my ass off. Oh. I immediately undid what I had done, but was embarrassed nonetheless.

Since that mistaken understanding of modern day acronyms, I’ve encountered a few barbs here and there from commenters. I’ve approved them each time. And in some cases, deliberately. The comments were judgmental maybe, critical of my life choices and/or my writing of them. I’ve been accused of such things as whining and being selfish. Maybe I am whiny and selfish. More likely than not.

But, whereas I may not have liked what was written about me, I approved the comments as an accurate depiction of my reading audience. And- perhaps selfishly- I also wound up throwing those commenters to the wolves. The wolves being my longtime and loyal readers. In my own general refusal to respond to such comments, my readers picked up the slack and questioned the kindness and consideration of the offending commenters. Thank you.

I’ve been quite lucky in that regard and in general as far as pure hateful comments go. I’ve managed to avoid the distasteful character attacks that some of my fellow bloggers have come up against. Those kind of comments are ridiculous and simply uncalled for. The ethical dilemma of whether to approve such comments is in fact an easy one to decide.

As for my unapproved comment, I chose to drop that blog from my reader. Good luck and good riddance, I say. Despite the very serious and concerning drama about which the blogger writes, I must assume they are uninterested in my thoughts or advice, and therefore can do without my support as a reader as well.

Filed under: blogging about blogging, hateful, just say 'when', must be a sign, people should be nicer to each other, poor choices, things people say, write on by Nic