Comments on: Baby Shower Bamboozling

By: Alisa

Alisa — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 07:06:06 +0000

I also agree that you should skip it and send a gift. You are a grown up, and if you truly do not want to go, then you should not feel obligated to go, especially (as others have said) after doing your “duty” with the wedding.

Finally, if that is what this friendship has become a “duty” and an “obligation” that you feel like you have to do, even though you do not WANT TO, then is it really a friendship you care enough about for it to matter if not attending would mean an end to the relationship? Maybe you’ve just gone different ways in your lives, and it is time for your friendship to reach it’s natural end?

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:06:50 +0000

Oh god. I hate these forced traditions — shit you feel like you have to host or have to attend just because everyone else does. I also can’t believe your friend is inviting dudes. I can only imagine the arguments going on inside the homes of the men and women who were invited, the men refusing to attend while the women (who probably don’t want to go either) tell them not attending would be rude and detrimental to the friendship. BLARGHHHHHHH.

By: nic

nic — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:36:52 +0000

Trying to get into the spirit of things, I emailed asking for more information about the event, in particular what men do at “Couples Baby Showers.” Her response?

“The guys are going to hang while the women do gifts.”

So there you have it.

By: jamie

jamie — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 17:48:40 +0000

I hate baby showers more than anything. Shower games are not funny or cute. Don’t feel obligated. Send a gift and save yourself!

By: Chica

Chica — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:08:33 +0000

I’m definitely with the ‘don’t go, you’ve paid your dues’ crowd. You may actually find that politely declining the invite will enable you to feel happier for her. And I completely agree on the concept of a couples shower being ridiculous – I’m just glad we don’t really do baby showers over here!

By: Nic

Nic — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:28:38 +0000

LOVE these comments!

In all honesty, I’ll probably still go out of obligation. I wish I could say she’d understand if I were unable to attend or elected not to, but I can’t help feeling it’d be friendship ending. Terrible to admit, even after everything I’ve ranted about today, but given how we’ve grown and continue to grow apart, maybe that wouldn’t be the worst thing…

You guys have given me courage! Thank you!

By: SoMi's Nilsa

SoMi's Nilsa — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:22:41 +0000

If it makes you feel better, we have a kids birthday party overlapping with the Superbowl. And you know what? We’re skipping it. A whole host of reasons why. Instead, we’re trying to get together with the kids and parents at some other point.

If one of my friends wasn’t going to have fun at my shower and really didn’t want to be there, I wouldn’t want her there, either. What I would want, though, is for her to be honest with me and figure out another way we could spend some meaningful time together.