Please Don’t Pull a Geena, Tina
Friday, January 22nd, 2010When I was in 6th grade, my English class and I received a writing assignment to author a “fan letter” to a celebrity of our choosing. I happened to choose Geena Davis (whatever happened to her anyway?) because I’d just seen A League of Their Own and even though I really fucking hate baseball (including the Cubs- that’s right, I said it) I really liked that movie (at the time).
To actually find our celebrities, we were instructed to go to the library and scan some crazy large BOOK (yes, an actual book- we didn’t even have a computer lab at that time and the Internet wasn’t even a twinkle in Al Gore’s eye). Without much luck and worried about my inability to “complete” the assignment, I located whatever agency she was supposedly tied to at some point in her career and sent my letter there.
That letter, hardly a work of effusive fanaticism let alone eloquence, laid out the details of our writing assignment, shared my like of her movie even though I hate baseball, and suggested that she consider sending me a signed photo- before the end of the school year!- so that I could not only earn an “A” but also be dubbed one of the cool kids who “knows” someone famous. She never wrote back. *Bitch.*
So I have to laugh about it all now because look at how easy it’s become to interact with celebrities, hell with strangers in countries you can hardly even pronounce! Ever since signing up for twitter in December (@nicnarrates), I’ve become shameless in my tweeting. The part of me that is still in sixth grade has latched onto the accessibility it provides and is gorging on the 140 character comment bombs I can drop on Hollywood.
I will literally tweet anyone. Celebrities and none celebrities alike. The Zappos CEO. Brad Goreski. Ross Matthews. Some dude in London. Giuliana Rancic. Why? Well, why not? It is through twitter that I believe I may finally be able to help Jessica Simpson find happiness. I mean, I already think John Mayer is a toolbag anyway, and if asked I will so punch Vanessa Minnillo in the face.
Which bring me to the most important question of all: Tina Fey, why don’t YOU have a twitter account? Seriously, what’s up with that? If you don’t have the time or inclination, can’t one of the NBC pages follow you around all day and tweet about how awesome you are? Wait, no. You could have me do it! Brilliant!
I’d be incredibly and uniquely! qualified to do so because 1) The 30 Rock theme song has been my ringtone for 3 whole YEARS and I have zero plans on changing it, 2) My ex-boyfriend looks exactly like Alec Baldwin and he spoke to him once, so you know, “three degrees of separation,” and 3) You- or perhaps your alter ego Liz Lemon- and I are practically the same exact person…except we’re not. BUT, we did both get the same hair cut around the same time without consulting with one another (obviously), and I too have often wanted to drink wine on the treadmill (and eat pizza). Oh yeah, and also I admire you as a strong female role model in a world that has brought us such gems as The Pussy Cat Dolls and Megan Fox, and for being a gifted and genuinely funny writer in a predominantly male comedic industry.
Tina Fey, you need twitter. Also, we need to be besties. So, um, why you gonna leave a girl hanging? Why Tina, why?
My assignment was for Tom Hanks, and probably because of the same movie now that I think about it. Our teacher never made us mail it, so there’s one moment of shame I managed to avoid.
I, too, identify heavily with the character of Liz Lemon. To the point that I believe Tina Fey has been following me with a clipboard, taking notes.
This is the beauty of her. She’s just so normal.
It’s clear to me highly evolved women don’t tweet. (Said confidently from the girl who refuses to get her own Twitter account!) ha.