Nic Narrates

Boyfriend: “Hey. What’s up?”

Me (snot-laden and “sick dialing” from under a blanket): “Oh nothing. I was just, you know, thinking…don’t cheat on me, okay? That would suck.”

Boyfriend: “Huh? Where did that come from? Are you okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just feeling gross and uncute and I just watched He’s Just Not That Into You on HBO for the second time in two days and the Bradley Cooper character cheats on his wife because they’re not having sex anymore and we don’t have a lot of that going on right now either and even though I know why that is and even though we’re nowhere near married I know that stuff like that still happens and I think about it all the time and how much that would really suck and kill me inside all over again especially when I’m all hopped up on cold medicine and see you flirting over twitter vulnerable.”

Boyfriend: “You’re not gross- you’re sick. And how could I cheat on you anyway? I work from home and hardly ever leave my house.”

Me: “….maybe they deliver?”

Filed under: break ups suck more, card games hurt my feelings, dirty laundry, Just Another Day in Crazy, sickness sucks, the sex, things people say, WTF by Nic