We Wish You A Merry Ex-mas
Sunday, December 27th, 2009What is it about the holidays that makes people who haven’t felt the need to say “hi” or “I’m sorry” or “I miss you” throughout the other 11 months of the year come out of the woodwork?
This Christmas especially seemed to be strewn with ex-boyfriends/ ex-somebodies. It was almost as though they felt a need to “phone in.” And it wasn’t just me…my boyfriend received a call from an ex “something or other” of his and my brother got a call from the girl who broke up with him two weeks before last Christmas. Innocuous maybe, but even seemingly selfless acts of holiday greeting can be rife with ulterior motive.
Take for instance the email I received from the southern fling I had last year who also dumped me over the phone in an eight minute conversation while I could barely breathe from having whooping cough. Apparently, he was thinking of me and all the fun we had last Christmas and wanted to say “I’m sorry” for how he treated me. How nice. He wanted me to know that he’s moving to Texas and while packing he found a Christmas ornament we made. Funny, I just threw mine out without any thought or interest in contacting him. And he expressed a hope that I’ve found happiness. I have thank you very much.
Reading it the night before Christmas Eve, the email- like our time together- seemed pointless. I’m no longer hurt about how he treated me and don’t think of him. I don’t know what he hoped to accomplish, but his email came across as some kind of selfish and tacky attempt at clearing his own conscience…something in which I have no interest in playing a part.
Maybe it’s just me, but a latent apology during the holidays seems more throw away than a belated “I’m sorry” at any other time of the year. To me, apologies like that are unnecessary and unwanted and seem to serve the person seeking forgiveness more than the person who finds forgiveness unwarranted in the first place.
Holidays or not, the reality is that people move on and forget without the need for forgiveness. And emails like his will continue to be self-serving, too-little too-late, and therefore deleted without reply.
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