Nic Narrates

I don’t worship at Our Lady of Twilight Cathedral. I don’t pay homage to the sparkly skin of Edward Cullen. I’ve never read the books and, until last night when I conducted some “research,” I hadn’t seen the movie either. So I haven’t really understood the mass hysteria of this seemingly endless vampire trend- the movies and TV shows, the books and character inspired clothing and crafts, the lip glosses and nail polishes and freaking conferences.

What I do finally understand is the fascination with Edward and his love for Bella. As my resident Twilight fanatic and expert, GDF, puts it, “He is the perfect man.” Oh Edward, let us count the ways…

• He has that “unattainable” quality that drives women wild and often leads us to our own emotional peril.
• He can move really fast- none of that X box playing couch lazing shit for him!
• His aforementioned skin is like diamonds….he’s “so pretty” as Bella says.
• He and his manners are from another time- literally. Asking for permission to take Bella on a date, making sure she eats, opening car doors, barely being able to touch or kiss her (although that’s more because she’s a food source) all make him stand out from the other d-bags operating at Forks High.
• He plays the piano whilst strategically back-lit because, let’s face it, is there any other way?
• He feels “oddly protective” of Bella, which as we know takes shape in his conveniently being on-hand each time misfortune calls….as well as on-hand to watch her sleep.
• He invokes The Specialness Factor, or what I think of as perhaps the strongest thing a guy can do to win a gal. Bella is special to him, unique. There has never been and will never be again anyone else who can have that effect on him. It’s amazing what sins “but he made me feel special” will cover up, including being a vampire.

With all of that in play, I can easily see how women have “fallen for” the Edward and Bella love story. It’s not about vampires. It’s about their ”perfectly imperfect love.” And there’s the crux, I think. Edward loves Bella the way that all women want to be loved.

We want to be the one that the unattainable guy puts on a pedestal, want to feel special and cherished by the man who loves us. We want to be protected and romanced and don’t want to worry about giving in or giving over or giving up too much because the relationship is pure and safe and “perfect.” It’s juvenile in it’s simplicity, but Edward is some version of an ideal, a modern Prince Charming.

But the tricky thing about idealizing a love story like this is that it’s just that- a story. The characters may not be real, but the boundaryless addiction they share can be.  Which gives me pause. I have to wonder how fantasizing about the relationship portrayed will affect the 11, 12, even 19 year old girls who are reading and internalizing these stories. I wonder what kinds of possessiveness it will encourage them to condone in their own lives one day. I wonder and I begin to worry.

It’s unhealthy and it’s a bad example. The Twilight love story between Bella and Edward is showing a younger generation of girls that possessiveness and “enmeshment” within relationships is something to be sought after and idealized and I find that incredibly dangerous.

In a novel, a character like Edward can act as he does because he isn’t real- the dark side of his “protectiveness” and “ownership” of Bella doesn’t exist because it is literally left unwritten. In real life, character traits like his are more likely to bring a darker side along with them. We know that darker side as emotionally abusive and controlling, toxic and addictive. Edward himself tells Bella, “it’s like you’re my heroin.” Which raises the question, when is any addiction within a relationship- whether it’s heroin or food or sex or otherwise- ever admirable, let alone healthy? And what kind of love story are we really idealizing here?

Filed under: awesomeness, creative time management, educating the masses, everyone should read more, friends, jaded, poor choices, so what if i scream?, things people say, Twilight by Nic