Target Sponsored Tiff
Monday, June 1st, 2009“What do you think of this silverware?” the boy asked while we stood filling the cart with household staples. He moved into a new place recently and had requested my help in outfitting it with a few odds and ends.
“It’s ugly,” I told him flatly. It was true, the flatware was flatly ugly.
“Ugly,” he mouthed; then, “why?”
“I don’t know, it just is. Yup, it’s ugly.”
“Because it’s cheap?”
“No, that just means it’s cheap and ugly.” We were getting nowhere and fast.
Trying a different tact, he asked what I’d pick out if it were me. But the pickings proved slim and he just as quickly discredited my selection as I had his, though less for any inherent ugliness than for its apparent superfluous inclusion of a tray (“Why do I need that? That’s stupid”… “You don’t, but you can use it for something else or throw it away”… “No.”)
Then, in a brash act of “helpfulness,” I lowered a box of dishes to the floor to inspect their wholeness only to be greeted with a “Now why did you do that?” It was at that point that I began to mumble aloud: “walk away…walk away…just walk away,” which I did in kind, leaving the forlorn box of dishes at his feet. A few aisles over I found a bar stool (also ugly and cheap) on display and proceeded to twirl away my frustrations at not being more “helpful.”
We were having our first tiff, not fight per se, tiff, the context of which was of little merit or concern. Truth be told, I couldn’t care less what silverware he selected or why. But he had asked for my opinion, for my help, and yet he had duly ruled out or been contrary to each asked for opinion. It was exhausting and confusing and…pointless. I had had enough. Hmph.
Though we rallied before leaving Housewares- attempts to resolve the tiff were made, apologies were adequately offered, and hurt feelings were smoothed over- the subsequent ride “home” was quiet. What does this mean? we each silently questioned. Also, this is stoooopid…it’s just fucking eating utensils.
Later, after we unpacked the (less ugly) silverware and the (affordable and mutually liked) stemless wine glasses, we unraveled the stresses of household shopping over margaritas, agreeing that if our disagreements are confined to Target, we’re not at all bad off.
It’s such a bizarre feeling arguing about pointless stupid crap when your basic morals and outlook on life are so unified. I still check with my boy for his opinion on stuff, 4.5 years later, because I’ve learnt that the time that I think I’ll know how he will respond is the exact time I get it very wrong!
I agree though, if it’s a 5 minute tiff, you kids are going to be fine. plus there’s the make up sex to enjoy…see, silver lining!
The stupidest little things are the most likely to set people off, but as long as they don’t trigger a whole load of serious shit that was the real thing underlying the bickering in the first place, then I think you’re golden. Plus, shopping together can bring a whole world of pain, I think you got off lightly, and with margaritas
My wife an I learned early to agree to disagree, and do it nicely.
i had a similar disagreement like that with an ex, about JEANS, in kohls. ugh, it was fucking annoying because it was flipping JEANS we were talking about. same thing- he asked my opinion, and every single pair i liked he gave the veto.
sadly for us, the disagreements went far beyond kohls.
happy for me, ive now hunkered down with a manfriend that doesn’t give a shit about that shit.
lol…”it’s ugly”…It’s such a fine line between honesty and tact.
I believe the proper response on his part would have been “YOU’re ugly,” to which you then would have replied “Your mom is ugly.”