Morning Follies
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009Most mornings prove to be a mad dash to get out the door. My alarm goes off, I hit snooze, I get 10 more minutes of semi-craptacular sleep, and when it screeches at me again, I drag myself out of bed and clomp off to the bathroom to begin running the water. It takes about 15 minutes to reach lukewarm status, in which time- you guessed it- I can get another 10 minutes of sleep before switching the alarm to NPR. Some mornings I’ll also read the paper or your blogs on my phone in bed.
Once up and at it though, I’m usually pretty busy scaring myself in the mirror by my Little J-esque raccoon eyes- really need to work on taking the make-up off before bed (when you tell me your make-up is soft enough and good enough for my skin that I can sleep in it, you can bet that’s exactly what I’m going to do). Coffee or no; however, at precisely 7:02 I had better be out that door or I will miss my last ditch bus to catch my train to get to work on time (15 minutes late).
In my haste, I’ve been known to forget a few things. Things like deoderant (ew-seriously), brushing my teeth (I now keep tooth paste and an extra toothbrush in my desk), even my shoes to swap out once I’m done commuting (after wearing flip flops that day, I now have five pairs of shoes in a drawer at work). This morning, as I boarded my bus, selecting my seat, settling my bag and lunch amongst my lap, I happened to look down and see….my zipper gaping wide open. And just to help you out, the pants I chose to wear today happen to be of the tighter, form-fitting capri variety that for whatever reason lay perfectly flat while standing, but buckle around the hoo-ha region while sitting.Awesome.
Mortified, I debated whether I should immediately remedy the situation, fellow bus riders be damned, or wait for when the bus emptied and fix it then. I opted for the later, even though it made for an interesting bus ride and I worried I’d forget yet again. Rest assured, all is now well with my pants (except that I’m still wearing them and not naked in bed with my fucking sexy boyfriend instead- sigh).
After that, what more can I add other than that once I did arrive at the train station, an All-Important Businesswoman hurried past me and said, “You could move over to the side.” Huddled in a cluster of fellow train riders apologetically trying to board her train for the reverse commute, I thought to myself, What would she have us do? Stand with our backs to the wall? Instead, I replied, “And you could stop being a bitch.” Yes, really.
Ooohhh…SNAP!
That’s awesome, I can never think of that stuff in the moment! And I totally forget the deo for the BO all the time! I now have a purse pack permanently.
Oh and thanks for your lovely comments on my comment, somehow it’s always easier to see someone else’s life clearer than your own. I’ve tagged you a Awe-summ on my blog so if you feel like it, head over and check out the rules.
Yeah! You tell her! I always hated those self-important types on the CTA, but I never spoke up. I am now living vicariously through you.