Comments on: Neurosis in Bloom http://www.nicnarrates.com/2009/05/19/neurosis-in-bloom/ Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:01:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: brookem http://www.nicnarrates.com/2009/05/19/neurosis-in-bloom/comment-page-1/#comment-756 brookem Wed, 20 May 2009 20:20:33 +0000 http://nicnarrates.wordpress.com/?p=1197#comment-756 i really like what ames said. and im so, so happy for you lady. you deserve it. i really like what ames said.

and im so, so happy for you lady. you deserve it.

]]> By: nic http://www.nicnarrates.com/2009/05/19/neurosis-in-bloom/comment-page-1/#comment-755 nic Wed, 20 May 2009 14:32:16 +0000 http://nicnarrates.wordpress.com/?p=1197#comment-755 Ames- I read your words of encouragement on my way home from work last night and they couldn't have come at a better time. You Aussies are wise. Thank you for being such a caring reader. :) Chica- you get it, I know you do. And you're so so right. I've been fooling myself into thinking that if only I can see the first signs of the hurt to come, then I won't be such a fool for being a "believer" and maybe it won't hurt so much. But the truth is, it only makes it more of a foregone conclusion. And should it not work out, it will still hurt, but with less enjoyment along the way. And...there is so much good and so much possibility to focus on instead. He's the kind of person I always hoped to meet. You both have helped me more than you know. Thank you for being there. Ames- I read your words of encouragement on my way home from work last night and they couldn’t have come at a better time. You Aussies are wise. Thank you for being such a caring reader. :)

Chica- you get it, I know you do. And you’re so so right. I’ve been fooling myself into thinking that if only I can see the first signs of the hurt to come, then I won’t be such a fool for being a “believer” and maybe it won’t hurt so much. But the truth is, it only makes it more of a foregone conclusion. And should it not work out, it will still hurt, but with less enjoyment along the way. And…there is so much good and so much possibility to focus on instead. He’s the kind of person I always hoped to meet.

You both have helped me more than you know. Thank you for being there.

]]> By: Chica http://www.nicnarrates.com/2009/05/19/neurosis-in-bloom/comment-page-1/#comment-754 Chica Wed, 20 May 2009 11:04:10 +0000 http://nicnarrates.wordpress.com/?p=1197#comment-754 How great is Ames! You always have such good advice! All I can say is I totally get it and that I too wait for the other shoe to drop pretty much constantly, it's half the reason I find relationships so tough. I think when you're just so used to being let down etc., it's difficult to relax and not be on the look out for tell tale signs. With me also, I tend to blame myself or feel like I've lost the right to complain when I saw something coming and didn't act. It gets to the point where it's almost humiliating and you feel you should be "on alert" and not trusting like a fool. You say you don't want to write about your fears because you don't want to give them any more credence and I see your logic there. Maybe you could write about all the really great things in an effort to give them credence (to yourself)? How great is Ames! You always have such good advice!

All I can say is I totally get it and that I too wait for the other shoe to drop pretty much constantly, it’s half the reason I find relationships so tough. I think when you’re just so used to being let down etc., it’s difficult to relax and not be on the look out for tell tale signs. With me also, I tend to blame myself or feel like I’ve lost the right to complain when I saw something coming and didn’t act. It gets to the point where it’s almost humiliating and you feel you should be “on alert” and not trusting like a fool.

You say you don’t want to write about your fears because you don’t want to give them any more credence and I see your logic there. Maybe you could write about all the really great things in an effort to give them credence (to yourself)?

]]> By: Ames http://www.nicnarrates.com/2009/05/19/neurosis-in-bloom/comment-page-1/#comment-753 Ames Tue, 19 May 2009 23:08:11 +0000 http://nicnarrates.wordpress.com/?p=1197#comment-753 I think it's impossible not to bring your past into your present (and perhaps your future?). The real key here is being aware of when you're putting up old walls, or reacting in the old way. It's like I tell my kids when I'm coaching. You can't just step on a court and expect all the new stuff you've been telling yourself in training to just happen. First step is recognising when you're doing it. Then you can change it once in a game. Then the next week, try twice, and so on. Then when you check in on yourself in 6 months, a year's time, you're a changed woman. Take heart from the fact that despite all that's happened in the past, you've put yourself out there, you've hoped, you've lusted and maybe found something worth changing for. I think it’s impossible not to bring your past into your present (and perhaps your future?).
The real key here is being aware of when you’re putting up old walls, or reacting in the old way. It’s like I tell my kids when I’m coaching. You can’t just step on a court and expect all the new stuff you’ve been telling yourself in training to just happen.
First step is recognising when you’re doing it. Then you can change it once in a game. Then the next week, try twice, and so on. Then when you check in on yourself in 6 months, a year’s time, you’re a changed woman.
Take heart from the fact that despite all that’s happened in the past, you’ve put yourself out there, you’ve hoped, you’ve lusted and maybe found something worth changing for.

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