Nic Narrates

I’m kind of addicted to a new TV show: Tough Love on VH1. This is the show, for those of you who haven’t seen it, that takes a gaggle of women who are dating challenged (aren’t we all) and gives them feedback on what they’re doing wrong in order to be matched with someone by the end of the season. The women live in a house and go through various dating “exercises” to learn from their mistakes. The host, a matchmaker (who comes across as kind of a douche who needs to stop waxing his eyebrows and lay off the botox), provides guidance, insight, and said “tough love.” Brilliant. Sort of.

While the majority of the women on this show are guilty of making simple dating mistakes (oversharing on the first date, dressing sleezy and thinking that’s sexy, being too picky or hypocritical, holding themselves to some unrealistic dating timeline, or just plain abrasive and disinterested), at least two of the women are in need of more trained help. I’m certainly no psychologist, but it’s clear to see that those women suffer from abandonment, lack of trust, abuse, and intimacy issues. For them, I’d argue, finding a man is less a solution than a band aid for problems that require a therapist instead. They don’t need “tough love;” they need therapy.

That said, I really appreciate that of all the reality shows out there, this one includes women who look like anyone else you’d see on the street. Certainly, there are a few who look like porn stars, but there are your run-of-the-mill ones as well. Moreover, each woman is given the opportunity to get honest-to-goodness feedback about themselves and their approach to dating. They get to see what is and isn’t working in their favor and find ways to date more effectively while also staying true to who they are. Ding ding ding! That’s like dating gold.

I don’t know about you, but I’d love an opportunity to know what kind of first impression I make, how I come across on a date, even whether I’m what men would deem “a catch.” I always strive to be the take-home-to-mom kind of gal, but I think parts of that persona can scare guys away too. I wonder how much of my single state can be chalked up to bad timing or not having met the right one yet. I wonder too what parts of it I’m responsible for, what dating faux pas I’m guilty of making. It can’t possibly be as simple as “I pick the wrong men,” can it?

Filed under: I've got your "warm delight" right here, crash and burn, educating the masses, hellacious fun, i heart TV, it's never "Just Lunch", jaded, singletons, toolbaggery, you're a card by Nic