The Silver Lining
Thursday, February 19th, 2009Sometimes you get something you need when you didn’t even know you were in need to begin with. I guess I really needed to be hugged. Not a quick, tap-the-shoulder hug, but a real hug.
As I was saying good bye to my brother last weekend, he put his arms around me and he didn’t let go. He told me it’s going to be okay, that I did nothing wrong. He said thank you for helping him through his break up, for encouraging him to focus on making new friends after having lost his old ones to his ex-girlfriend. He said he’ll be there for me at any time of day or night, just as I was for him. I started to pull away, prepared to cut my growing sadness with a self-effacing joke, but he didn’t let go.
It’s been the silver lining in all of this; that after all these years of struggling through my own break ups, I’ve been able to actually help him with his. He’s happy now; pledging a fraternity, meeting girls left and right, and enjoying college for the first time. And of course I’m happy for him, happy to see him doing so well. And as for the rest of what he said, it’d be easy to shrug off except that I know he’s right, except that he’s telling me the very same things I told him only a month or two ago.
I wanted to pull away, wanted to shake my head and fake a smile, but instead I finally gave in. I let myself be hugged, let myself cry. He didn’t let go. And for once, neither did I.
This post is so lovely. I too have found support in family but perhaps a more unusual place – my Dad, and instead of hugs, DIY tips. Sounds crazy but it’s worked for me! I hope you are feeling better, offering a virtual hug seems rubbish after reading this but it’s there nonetheless x
Keep finding those silver linings, buddy. They’re out there.
You’re a really good sister :’) this post made me feel like bawling.
Chica- Thank you. Really. You’re very sweet. And I’m sending a hug your way today as well. Poor thing.
K-Check- I know they are and I’m really trying to look for them. Now if I can just start getting myself to stop thinking that everything sucks right now…
andhari- To be honest, I kind of had a hard time even writing it without doing the same. It’s one of those things I think I’ll always remember and be grateful for.