What I Cannot Say…
Thursday, February 5th, 2009I’m awake in my bed tonight, thinking of you. Do you think of me? Of how in a mere handful of hours you were to board a plane to see me?
Or do you instead try to forget? Do you already? Throwing your hands in the air with a shrug, do you minimize, belittle, the brief hours and weeks we shared? Do you even still care?
Nothing is now as it should be. Resigned, I go to sleep tonight and shut my eyes knowing they will not open again with your arrival. It is sad. I am sad. To have known you, fallen for you, and now- nothing more.
But the night carries on and I must turn the light out at last.
Perhaps if at this very moment you lie awake in your bed, thinking of me and the plane you no longer will board, and I lie awake thinking of you and the plane I wish you would, we’ll be connected in ever so small a way over this distance, this silence, this final rift that ensures the end of our happiness together.
Perhaps…
Very pretty writing, Sadness.
Reminds me of an old story I once read called “Lines to the Girl I Haven’t Yet Met.”
Thank you. It was one of those nights when there really wasn’t anything else to do but write it and have that be enough.
Interesting verb choice by the way.