Hell Hath No Fury
Friday, January 30th, 2009(Warning: you are about to witness one of the ugliest parts of my character. Welcome to the fold.)
Well, I was happy.
Loverboy and I lasted just over two months. And now I’m one more single girl out there going through another god damned break up. Yeah, I’d say I’m a bit pissed off right now.
And you know what that leads to. All sorts of catty, immature meanness that’s been pent up. This is when all those things you overlooked while you were with the person come bubbling up. Because you’re not emotionally invested enough to be sad about it, but definitely cared enough to be hella angry.
This is when those things that don’t really matter and that I’d never give voice to otherwise- because I’m better than that and because they are catty and immature and mean- come flying into my mind. Things you know I’m going to give voice to here if nowhere else because I feel like it and because I don’t like the way he treated me in the end. Bastard.
Things like your teeth are really yellow and yes, it does bother me actually.
I hate that you smoke, even though you allegedly tried to quit for me. Smoke all you want now, you big jerkstore.
I think your tattoos are dumb and ridiculous and no, I don’t like them. At. All.
Your friends are weird. I’m sorry, but they are.
Your job is stupid and not that fucking important. Seriously. You work retail. Get over it.
Your dog is a pain in the ass and that’s saying a lot because I really like dogs.
I’m not giving you your favorite t-shirt back, so don’t bother fucking asking because I’ll probably just tell you to suck it.
I think the way you wear your jeans is stupid and I absolutely hate that you wear a stupid fucking class ring from college- who does that?
Your grammar and spelling are HORRIBLE and it makes me die a little inside each time you use the wrong “to/ too,” “their/ there/ they’re,” and ” it’s/ its.”
Also, you were a horrible boyfriend. One of the worst I’ve ever had. Waste of my time. Really.
P.S. Thanks for all the great holiday sex though. I guess that’s all you were good for in the end. But I’ll find better.
aw, im sorry friend. even though he sounds like an asshat, it still sucks. you CAN and will do better.
Yeesh.
Let’s get drinks? Or spend money in a frivolous fashion?
(I wear my college ring though. I can leave it at home?)
THAT was your rebound. It’s what you needed emotionally to really start fresh. And god knows it’s what you needed physically…
I do love jerkstore, though. Seems like the whole thing may have been worth it to reintroduce that to the vernacular. Boogalar…
If you’d like me to kick his jagged yellow nicotine-plaqued tattooed teeth in at his stupid retail store in front of his stupid weird friends before putting his class ring somewhere that it will be decidedly less noticable and asking, “Do you like having it their/there/they’re,” I’ll do it. Just say the word. I might even take the train to do it and help out with your commuter friend (Impending unemployment makes me angry).
And you will do better because you have done better; soon you’ll do better even than that.
Smile today.
PS. You aren’t the only hypocrite: http://outsidetheivorytower.wordpress.com
Let’s go break things together. Then we’ll see He’s Just Not That Into You and mock it, while envying everyones hair. I’ll meet you in Reykjavik!
(Is it weird I commented on each of your posts I missed while I was away? Probably!)
Ugh. Isn’t it crazy how “love” or whatever we feel at first with a new guy . . . “extreme like” maybe? will cloud our vision of him and totally block out any douchebag qualities they may have? And then as soon as we let our guard down, BAM, they hurt us. Fuckers.
brookem- asshat! Exactly.
Fancy- Sorry about the slam about the class ring. Like I said- catty, immature, and mean. I’d love to get drinks sometime, but only if they’re fancy.
OTGW- Always the clever commenter, aren’t you? I think it’s because you secretly loathe academia more than you think. Blogging is way more fun than one upping each other via fancy words and compound sentence structure. I’m thrilled you’re giving it a turn and decided to share your url. AND, thank you for making me laugh out loud today.
Chica- Breaking things sounds lovely. In fact, all afternoon I felt like snapping pencils and kicking walls. In a word, I felt like I was two and it was time for a tantrum. As for that movie, ugh. I read the “book” years ago and have had that god damned, “if he’s not calling you, he’s just not that into you” phrase screaming in my ear for the last two weeks. Yeah, the making and receiving of calls got sketchy. Personal favorite. I just googled Reykjavik though. Did you know that “Reykjavík was ranked first on Grist Magazine’s “15 Greenest Cities” list?” It looks really cold there- how about Turks and Caicos instead?
LRC-It IS crazy and I hate that about myself. I wish I could find a way to hang on to the whole “see the best in everyone” thing, but also not let myself to be delusional about the douchebagginess qualities too.
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