Waffles and Whine
Thursday, November 13th, 2008I stood on line next to a man at McDonald’s this morning (yeah, we’re back to that these days) where we joked about the crazy-ass efficiency of the people behind the counter. They put the fast back in fast-food. They actually seem to care that you have a train to catch downstairs.
That’s about when I noticed that this man was kind of what you might call “handsome.” Okay, he was hot. Tall, nice head of hair (HOH to all you brookem fans out there), friendly, distinguished looking, and a great smile. Oh, yeah, and married.
Just then, the woman behind the counter screeched “Bacon, Egg, Cheese McGriddle! McGriddle!!!!!” (hey-go big or go home) as though it were my actual name. Just as well.
“Married,” I muttered, sourly reaching for my breakfast. “Married, married, married. Of course.“
I didn’t care if anyone heard me, didn’t even care if The Hot One did. The truth is, I seem only to perk up these days around the ones who end up being married. On Halloween, done up in my best Blair Waldorf garb (Emo was Chuck and Graphic Designer Friend was Serena- we heart Gossip Girl), the only guy who caught my fancy was Frank Sinatra. Ol’ Blue Eyes seriously rocked that suit. Married. Boo. Hiss.
Although, maybe I should consider this latest development as a step in the right direction for me. I’m finally finding myself attracted to guys who can and want to commit. Just not to me apparently (sorry, I had to. I’m riding the self-pity train these days).
It does beg the question though; what am I doing wrong? Why am I still single? Because I must be doing something. And I’m not the only one asking. I’ve got Grandma, a few old friends, and those random-people-who-know-nothing-about-you-but-you-talk-to-for-a-spell all asking the same thing.
I kind of hate it, to be honest. I’m guessing that’s how all my married friends feel when asked about whether they’re pregnant exactly 12.2 seconds after locking it down. I know people mean well when they ask things like this, but sometimes it can wear on a person, you know?
And me, well, I just end up having one of those forehead-slapping moments inside my own head, “Shit! That’s right. I AM single. Straight up single with no prospects. At all. Really- why is that?” Outwardly, I end up joking with the askers that “I must spend too much time with the wrong ones.” AH HA HA HA HA! Isn’t that just hilarious.
Maybe it’s actually true. Either way, it still bites. And I’m pretty sick of being bitten because I know I want someone to share myself with. And I want their laughter and quirks and passions too. I want to believe there’s someone out there for me who will think I’m someone to hold onto. But today, and this week in particular for some reason, I just don’t (see? I told you…self-pity train).
That’s why I’ll be busting out the waffle-maker later this evening. I plan on having cinnamon waffles and Pinot Noir for dinner in front of the TV because The Office and 30 Rock are on and I love all of the above. Because I’m single and you can do that sort of thing when you’re single. Hell, I might even wear sweat pants. That’s right.
The downside of course is that after said waffles, wine, and Baldwin I’ll be going to bed alone, falling victim to yet another night of likely sex dreams. Lordy, do I ever miss relationship sex. Boo. Hiss.
nic! i hear you lady! i think these same thoughts so often.
and also get asked the same “why are you single?” questions.
damn that shit.
i think we’re just supposed to be using this time to focus on our fabulous selves… drink the bottles of wine when we want, dvr the crap out of nasty tv shows that others hate, eat waffles in our sweats on a thursday night, and just try like mad to love every minute of it.
i think that THIS is the stuff we’ll miss when we’re coupled up.
so i say, cheers to enjoying this moment for what it is NOW, and for finding the certain swoony mister who will sweep us off our feet and bedazzle us with their charm, wit, HOH, charisma, and sexxxx. oh, the sex.
I am SO in agreement with miss thang up there, about how this is the type of thing we’re going to miss when we finally get a man, so we need to appreciate it now (even though I cringe when I pull out my California Pizza Kitchen frozen pizza that says FOR ONE on it in huge letters — why must you mock me??).
To quote Miranda Lambert – “the good ones have all got wedding rings and the young ones are just too dumb.”
BE is neither young, nor does he have a wedding ring. Guess he’s not a good one.
I happen to know that you have spomeone who loves you out there in the world and he desperately wants you back. So much so that he won’t see what’s in front of him and keeps focusing on you.
At least call the guy. He’s been waiting for two months and all you can do is “whine” that your lonely and want a relationship.
If you don’t want him, cut him loose, so the rest of us can have a shot.
Head of hair, single, ready to commit and a great kid comes with the package. Not bad.
Take him back or get out of the way. There’s a lot of us out here and you’re hogging a good one without even doing anything about it!
Mmmmm waffles & wine.
You should come with when me and Jess & Angie go man-hunting.
I (while not single now) have also ridden that train and I know those haunting questions all too well.
I think though sometimes it’s not you. It’s not that you’ve broken too many mirrors or accidentally walked under a few hundred ladders. I think it really is about time, and fate and all that stuff. And sometimes, it’s when you don’t even want ti. When you’ve sworn off it for life. Then it just hits you between the eyes.
Oh, and can you please delete that comment above already, no need for that crap…
Enjoy your wine and your weekend.
Since you’re getting really silly comments about you know who, I just thought I’d say, though I am sure you already know, that it is MUCH better to be single than to be with the wrong guy. I’m not single and I’m going to bed alone after a crappy night. Can I swap you for your waffles? Oh and, I think you’re fabulous.
Although you completely have a point about the sex.
Some of you are being kinda mean. I’ve been friends with him for 22 years. He’s a good guy and he adores her, that’s all. Yes, he needs to move on, but that doesn’t make him a bad guy.
brookem- I think you’re probably right about that one. I should enjoy it while I can. I KNOW you’re right in fact. Thank you for reminding me.
longredcape- CPK for one…ah yes. Also, that quote is miraculous and kind of how I’ve been feeling lately. I just can’t date younger. The Cagey One was my age and even he was freaked out by my relationship speak.
I hope BE gets his act together for you. I still can’t figure that one out.
miss gruntled- um, wow? I thought I had cut him loose- in March. And besides, since you’ve apparently known him for 22 years, you must know as well as I that he does whatever he wants, always has, and that I have no control over him whatsoever.
You are right though, that doesn’t make him a bad person, it just makes him flawed. It makes him human. And it sounds like he’s really lucky to have a good friend like you.
fancy joy- absolutely! Shoot me an email anytime!
ames- timing IS very important, I agree with you. And I’ve been hearing that whole thing about meeting someone when I’m not looking. I guess I’m fighting giving up though because I’m afraid of turning into a bitter jaded hag. Wish I could reach that balance between happy with being alone while also being open to meeting someone.
chica- I just read your entry and can’t believe on top of what you’re going through that Boyf would pull that kind of shit. As sadface Aniston would say, “not cool.”
Nic, i’ve been reading your site for a while and never commented before. Seems like this there is an elephant in the room?! are you guys talking about Kit? Is the he the Appliance fairy too? I had a guy like that years ago who would NOT let go of me after we broke up. He was totally wrong for me!!! I was convinced (and so was my mother). We’ve been married for 7 years now and have two beautiful boys! When they won’t go away, there might be a good reason! Good luck!