Nic Narrates

I know this will probably make me sound like a jaded mess, but I have to ask, why do guys (most of the ones I’ve known anyway) only want me after-the-fact? After the break up. After their rebounding is over. After they’ve gone off to what they thought were greener pastures, only to realize what they had wasn’t so bad. After they witness me moving on.

Why is it that my value seems only to be seen through the lens of reflection?

An ex-boyfriend recently told me he messed it up and wished he’d hung onto me when he had the chance (no, it isn’t Him actually, but we’ll be addressing that one shortly). I don’t know if that’s supposed to make me feel better or not, vindicated, or whatever, but it doesn’t. Instead, it seems to be perpetuating a newly-developed penchant for throwing things. Like tantrums. Or my phone.

I just wish there was some way for guys like him- the ones who’ve known me, who still do- to somehow magically convey to the new ones (and perhaps one new one in particular) what they could have in me. That this one, this one right here, has value. That I’m a freaking keeper. A KEEPER, I TELL YOU!

I’m about to give up. Chalk it up to liking the wrong kind of guy. Go into hibernation for the winter and maybe let my heart hope again come spring. I’m just so sick of all this after-the-fact crap. If only…if only. Why can’t I just find someone who looks at me, sees me, and knows what he has when he has me?

Where are you?

Filed under: crash and burn, going postal, haterade, people should be nicer to each other, singletons, so what if i scream?, things people say, toolbaggery, WTF by Nic