Nic Narrates

I’ve seen a therapist for two years, but sometimes it’s a complete stranger who can help me see things more clearly when I least expect it. In the cleaning supplies aisle at Jewel the other day, I had just such an encounter.

“Dave”: “Oh, hey! Mary, right?”

Me, thinking: Mary? Really? Do I honestly look like a ‘Mary’? Natalie maybe, or Sarah. But Mary?

“No? You look so familiar. Are you new to the neighborhood?”

Me, thinking: How does that even make sense?

“I’m new to the neighborhood and was just thinking of where to go to see a movie around here. Maybe you and I could check one out sometime,” he says.

Me, thinking: Liar. You asked me out two years ago on a neighborhood sidewalk.

With that, I shoved the Magic Erasers I’d been comparison shopping back on the shelf, choosing to end the conversation in lieu of cleaner walls.

“I don’t think that would be such a good idea,” I began.

“No? You’re not married…at least, there’s no ring on your finger.”

Me, thinking: Well look at you Super Sleuth.

“I just started seeing someone,” I offered instead, not that that’s the only reason I’d rule this one out.

“So how long have you been cheating on me?” he says with a skeevy ass smirk.

Me, thinking: Dude must get that A LOT to have such a retarded rejoinder.

“It’s…um, still new, I guess….”

“Then, not a boyfriend. So?”

“No. Not a boyfriend. But I think I might want him to be.”

Filed under: city encounters, jaded, kiss and blog, singletons, things people say by Nic