Nic Narrates

It’s difficult not to feel nostalgic this week. Difficult to keep the “at this time last year”s to a minimum.

The caveat to that is that I’m actually doing quite well given the sadness of letting go. It’s been two months since our break up and in that time I’ve joined a gym, read a ridiculous amount of books, seen my friends and family more, completely redecorated my apartment, and begun planning my next big adventure across the pond. The last of which, ironically, also leads me toward “at this time last year.”

Because I want to go back. Desperately. And I can’t help but think about the circumstances and the man that brought me to London in the first place. While there were still squabbles and impatience, it was an amazing experience for which I will always be grateful to him.

Knowing this, my birthday will be very different this year from last. There will be no dancing with the Chapel-en-le-Frith Morris Men, no ancient cathedral and its stained glass windows to admire, no fog-filled walk before daybreak into the hills of Derbyshire, no fancy London hotels or dinners, no one like him to share it with. That I have these memories at all is bittersweet, but more milk than dark chocolate.

In their place there will be many friends both new and old, there will be cupcakes and a second viewing of the Sex and the City movie, and then, a visit to the farmer’s market for peonies, a hair appointment and mani-pedi, and a celebratory pubcrawl.

In truth, I look back at 27 with more happiness than sadness in my eyes and with excitement at the possibility of “by this time next year.” I have a feeling 28 will be a very different kind of year for me. And I think I like it.

Filed under: break ups suck more, crossroads, friends, in memory, letting go, London, no birthday tears please, nostalgia, SATC, singletons, work in progress by Nic