Bad Bridesmaid: Part 1
Monday, February 11th, 2008I’m skating on thin ice with one of my brides. In fact, I may be the worst bridesmaid. EVER.
Nevermind that, despite having the flu, I traveled for a “wedding weekend” to attend a bridal expo and shop for the (tackiest, 80′s styled) bridesmaid dress with her. We’re talking black iridescent taffeta strapless with a bow. And a BUBBLE skirt. A freaking bubble skirt. How is that “cute” or “pretty” for anyone? The thing looks like the saddest deflated balloon (that I anticipate being stuck to the sides of my legs during her August outdoor wedding).
And nevermind that I’ll be traveling there no less than THREE more times before her wedding for various other bridesmaidly duties. Or that I’ve already helped her find a reasonably priced string quartet (like that exists!), consulted my Graphic Designer Friend for invitation ideas, and offered to make her veil (I don’t even know how to sew!).
Like I said, nevermind all that. I just sent in my regrets to the (apparently mandated) “bridal party weekend” in the Ozarks. Carpooling 20 hours, over the Fourth of July holiday weekend, for four days, boozing it up on a pontoon boat, playing poker, riding Harleys, puking, with 16 strangers, for the low-low price of $500. How seriously appealing.
I told her I couldn’t make it because we (Kit, his son, and I) will be traveling. The honest to goodness truth is, I don’t fit into her new life, with her new friends, in her new town. At all. But how do you tell that to someone? How do you tell that, no less, to a BRIDE?
I’ve struggled with it for four days now, and have even consulted my married and engaged friends. All of them have individually said it’s a lot to expect, especially when she didn’t even check to see if anyone was available on those dates.
That said, I still feel terrible about choosing not to go. And I feel worse that she immediately shot back with a complaint that nothing could be “life-threatening” enough to keep me from coming to her “one and only bacherlorette party.” (Is it just me, or is it more important that I be there for the wedding?)
With six months to go, I’m worried that I’m one bridal shower away from getting my bridesmaid pink slip. And if that’s the case, I just hope it’s before and not after I buy that stupid dress.
I agre with your friends. She was being way to presumptuous. She should be thankful for all the efforts you are making.
Wow, the level some people will stoop to. Black taffeta? I think I still have one in the dress up box??
That is incredibly selfish of your bride to assume you will drop everything in your life for her. Having said that, it is a selfish time all around and sometimes people get lost in it. Let’s hope she comes out the other side…
Update: turns out she’s disappointed they aren’t having a destination wedding. Guess this is their attempt at having both the weekend away with friends AND a wedding weekend later.
Black in August – I don’t get it. I thought you only wore black at funerals. But, what do I know – I’m a lesbian. I don’t even know what taffeta is.
Hey, there’s only so much you can do. It’s sounds like you’ve been accomodating enough. I would pass on the “mandated” weekend as well.