Nic Narrates

Holy hell, what are they putting in the water in Hollywood? Half the town is gestating!

First it was Britney and Angelina. Then Kat(i)e Holmes Cruise. And then- gasp!- Nicole Richie, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, and Jessica Alba. And now, good Lord, it’s 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears. And Lily Allen. And Jennifer Love Hewitt? Who’s next? Ashlee Simpson? Jessica Biel? Heidi Montag? (Who, subsequently, has not-so-surprisingly-or-tragically called off her engagement to the Pratt, who-also subsequently- is more fittingly named, I think, than any of us previously thought).

Now, I realize that a number of these women probably planned for babies. Some more than others (I’m talking about you, Jessica “Mantrap” Alba). But what about the others who clearly are having an “oops!” moment?

Is it because pregger tops are all the rage in stores this fall/ winter? Were they “inspired” by Knocked Up (Really? Because that movie pretty much scared the bejezzus out of me). Or was it instead due to an advanced screening of Juno? (Which, by the way, is seriously awesome and even surprisingly poignant at moments- go see it).

Whatever the reason, I’m concerned about the superfluity of Hollywood’s “caught-unawares” young mothers. Are they so busy between shopping trips to Lisa Kline, yogurt runs to Pinkberry, and mani/ pedi/ botox sessions that they can’t be counted on to properly take a pill? And if so, how can they be counted on to properly feed, cloth, and raise a child? (I’m talking about you, Britney).

Filed under: it's never "Just Lunch", mothering, US Weekly by Nic