Nic Narrates

From the other side of the far cube wall, two consultants are debating the merits of furniture from Pottery Barn over Crate and Barrel. The instigator is adament that one gets what one pays for, while the other finds it silly to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a couch when an entire room can be redecorated for nearly the same sum. The debate unsettled, they’ve moved on to something called a “cookie diet” and are trying to figure out how that works exactly.

Have I mentioned that they are both men?

I work in what I would call an “enlightened” office environment. Case in point, one of our sales guys (very much of the Andy Bernard variety), held a purse party “for his wife” last May and invited us all over for mimosas and Goachi handbags. We still aren’t sure who derived more pleasure from it- “Andy” or his wife- as both received hostess gifts. And then there’s my friend, Emo, who is a fan of “snappy” dressing and is known to whip out the pink button down and tie from time to time. Rounding out the group is the VP who complained last week of feeling too exfoliated in the changing autumnal air. Not that it matters really, but for anyone who’s wondering, none of these men are gay.

Still, is it just me or has this whole “metrosexual” thing gone a bit too far? I’m all for a man being cultured, well-rounded, enlightened even. In fact, I take it as a watershed moment when asking a guy I’m interested in if he has a sister (this seriously makes a difference, I swear). But….

I don’t want a guy to take longer getting ready than I do, don’t want him to have a more involved skin and hair care regimen than me, don’t want him to be…prettier than me. And when (if) he comes shopping with me, I don’t want him extoling the virtues of the wedge instead of extoling the virtues of holding my bags while I try on the wedge.

Nope. I’d rather take my men reliving last night’s football game play-by-play, comparing notes on microbrews, even sharing a delightful story about coaching Little League. But these days, it seems the genders have merged so much that it’s not so much that “she’s one of the guys” as it is “he’s one of the girls.” Seriously.

When did men stop being…men?

Filed under: "work", Just Another Day in Crazy, WTF by Nic