At Last
Monday, November 5th, 2007For the best. For the best…….it echoes heavy in my mind tonight. Wakes me from my sleep alongside this headache. Keeps me from falling back.
What is it to mean really? Why do people say it at all? Why so casually?
Why, when heard, does it sit inside me like lead weight? Why must it be leveled at me? Why at Him?
Is it supposed to make me feel better that it didn’t work out? To explain away the over-analyzed mystery of why the bed I left to sit here typing lies empty?
Is it to serve as some sort of consolation? Exactly for whom does it rationalize away disappointment anyway?
Does it mean that everything that came before doesn’t count anymore? Am I to just forget the past? Disregard or regret it?
Am I not to feel as though I’ve failed somehow? Is it supposed to resolve the aching, this sleeplessness?
Is it a conclusion that everyone has already come to? Am I to simply agree? Throw my hands into the air with a shrug, in exasperation?
Of all who have said it to me, why, oh why, at last was it He?
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