As the coordinating member of the office Activity Team, it is my festive duty next week to announce the sign up for our Third Annual “Secret S!&$@.” Not that it comes as much of a surprise to anyone these days, but we’re not allowed to call it that: “Secret Santa” (which, I must add, is [...]
It’s like that TBS commercial. The one where the woman calls the TBS “Funny Line” to find out if the inaccurate usage of her coworker’s name is funny. “Raphael,” she purs into the phone, while he is instead called something else altogether.
In my case, the assclown knows my name, but has repeatedly misspelled it in [...]
Boss Lady (G-ma) was in a particularly giving mood this Thanksgiving and, despite our feet dragging toward the next holiday, gave all of us our Christmas presents early. All of us. Meaning my parents, my brothers and I, and their girlfriends. As I am of a particularly sexist household, I typically receive “homey” gifts each [...]
My apartment is an obstacle course of folded laundry, shoes, and magazines. I’m packing for Thanksgiving with the family, which means South Carolina. South Carolina- where I last saw a commercial for a free gun-cleaning workshop being held at the local Baptist cult. Yes, really.
Things are so different now. And I’m not talking about gun [...]
It’s easy to say that I miss Him. Harder to explain why. Graphic Designer Friend asked the other day. My reply: He saw me.Knowing Him made me feel that I, in turn, was known. And I miss the knowing, the friend in Him who knew. The one who was there long enough, who took the [...]
So, I’m at the Jewel last night picking up a few odds and ends for another weekend of cooking revelry (a post break up development), when I spied something that nearly made me drop my Twizzlers and asparagus. Sweet Jesus, is that what I think it is?
In case you’re wondering if that label says [...]
My mom and I were having a conversation…
Mom, nonchalant: “That really sucks it didn’t work out.”
Me, disgruntled: “That’s pretty much how I feel about it.”
Mom, meaning well: “I just can’t believe that’s it. Just like that. Over.”
Me, colluding: “…after everything.”
Mom, humoring me: “I have to say, I didn’t think it’d turn out this way.”
Me, caustic: [...]
