Nic Narrates

Someone’s ganking my Netflix DVDs!

Slowly but surely over the last five months, movies that I mail back from work-and only work- have mysteriously gone missing. The ones I mail from the mailbox on my corner all make it back within a day or two. But then a week or more will go by and I’ll be at my desk thinking, “hey, why hasn’t The Office Season 3 arrived yet?” And sure enough, I’ll go to my account online and see that Volver is still reported as “at home.” But I mailed it back 9 days ago when I got to work! Or so I think I have.

I started to suspect that something was afoot when it began to repeatedly happen. It’s like whoever’s responsible started out slow, but is now just brazen about it. Still, I had to test the waters.

Apparently, the culprit loved The Departed so much they kept the damn thing! (I’m not sure why exactly, although it does have Baldwin, who always brings me joy as he reminds me of Kit, and Damon with his Boston accent, although he is a total bastard in the movie, hell- it even has Marky Mark!) My other movies– The Notebook, The Da Vinci Code, and even Volver– were each returned eventually. But not The Departed. My only recourse was to report it “missing” so I could finally get the rest of my 30 Rock DVDs before the new season starts (how kickass is that show?!?!).

Now I realize this could all be easily remedied by my no longer returning DVDs through the mail at work, and that maybe it isn’t a sneaky employee so much as a snarky mail carrier in the northern suburbs. But still. They’re stealing my Netflix DVDs, people! And whoever it is is still at large.

Maybe I should enclose a post-it note with my next DVD return letting them know that I KNOW what they’re doing (and maybe they should think about returning The Departed before this meal ticket gets booted out of Netflix). That’d teach ‘em, right? (Somehow I think not.)

Filed under: "work", Netflix, going postal by Nic