Nic Narrates

I’m not going to pretend that I’m talking about a friend or my mom or anybody else. This time it’s me. It’s my relationship. And it’s a mess.

When did he stop being on my side? When did I stop being on his?

I feel terrible that we’re becoming such strangers to each other, that we’re busy roofing the emotional forts we’ve retreated into in defense of the hurts we keep flinging at each other.

I wish I knew the words to break through that hurt and frustration and anger. I wish I knew what words, what feeling, what color flag to fly to make way to what love is left, to make him see that it’s always been him for me. That, cutting through all the crap, if I’m what he still wants, that I’m still here.

But then there are more words and more hurt and more frustration heaped on top and all the sentiment and emotion and intent dissolves away. I’ve lost my way.

When did relationships get to be so hard?

Filed under: boys suck, break ups suck more, crossroads by Nic