Nic Narrates

So this is the year.

No, it’s not THAT year, despite what the drunk frat boys in the bleachers say, the Cubs will not go all the way…I mean, come on. Just shut up and drink your beer already. Instead, it’s the year the cicadas come out again. And from the near daily coverage in the Trib, you’d think the plague was nigh.

I did get a kick out of their latest journalistic efforts though:

“In Wilmette, Martha Hellander was moving a steppingstone in her garden last week and was shocked to find 17 [coincidence?] tan-colored cicada nymphs underneath. ‘It was really creepy,’ said Hellander, 54, ‘I sort of screamed and dropped it and then I went back, because I was curious. There were so many of them.’”

As much as this quote made me shriek with laughter at imagining this wealthy North Shore priss running mad in her garden while diamonds dripped from her ears and her Cocka-Poo scurried after her (okay, it probably wasn’t like that, but it adds to my laughter), is this really news? I realize it’s been 17 years. But seriously?

They’re going to crawl out of the ground. It will be gross. And annoying. Don’t go to Ravinia for a while. Or camping. But then they’ll die, or something like that. And it will be gross some more. And then it will be over. For another 17 years.

Is the rest of the country in a tizzy over this? Am I underestimating the red-beady-eyed buggers?

Filed under: WTF by Nic