Nic Narrates

My friend, my best friend, is engaged. And we’re all surprised, yet not at the same time. Next month will mark a decade since she first mentioned his name to me in passing, trying to hide her very evident crush. Ten years. And they’ve finally found each other.

In that time, we went to Prom together; graduated from high school and moved away; went to college, graduated, and moved away again; and began our first, then second jobs. In that time, while they’ve stood by each other, I’ve gone through a number of serious, and not so serious, relationships. And after all that time, I stand no nearer to the one who will stand by me.

So, as we sat talking happily, finally catching up and speaking freely as we so often used to, I found my tears of joy for her mingling with my own tears of sadness.

As I mourn and accept the dissolution of my most recent failed relationship, I’m instead taking a different plunge. I begin coursework in fashion merchandising this week. I myself am finally doing it–in a way. But my excitement is peppered with disappointment.

At a much younger and impressionable age, I was dissuaded from the career by my well-intentioned parents, who rationalized that it would make a husband and children nigh impossible. It made sense then, so I went ahead with my studies in English literature. I graduated and capped it off with a Master’s degree for good measure in something quite different and vastly more employable.

And here I sit. Well-educated, employed, and alone. I chose a life that made the husband and family more attainable. But here I sit with neither.

When my friends marry at long last, I hope my tears then will be only of joy…both for them and for myself.

Filed under: engaging boyfriends, friends, i'm arty, work in progress by Nic