Nic Narrates

Bastard! At 10:30 last night, downtrodden and exhausted, I was dismayed to find the water from my shower that morning (that morning-Gross!) still had not drained. No way in hell was I going back out into the cold to pick up another stupid $8 bottle of Drano that wouldn’t work.

In nearly two years, not once have I known that drain to have worked properly. I’ve tinkered with it, tried different brands and strengths of unclogging agents, experimented with gels and industrials, but alas, nothing, absolutely nothing, has fixed it! Not four gallons of Drano and not even Bronco, the super. The best I’ve managed is a draining sound and water that collects only to the ankle.

As you can imagine, taking a shower has become quite a science as a result. You have to run the water to warm it up (of course), but not too long, because (don’t forget) the water collects! Mostly, I’ve learned to live with it as just another quirk of a “vintage” apartment.

But, last night, I had had enough. Too much in my life is going horribly wrong these days and the last thing I need is to not be able to shower like a normal human being.

I stormed off toward the kitchen and rooted around my dusty assortment of cleaning supplies until I grabbed hold of the plunger. The very same housewarming gift my dad brought to my first apartment five years ago.

I paused, looking at the still attached tag, amazed that I still had it and knew where to find it. With a shrug, I returned to survey the scene. I threw back the shower curtain and, like a madwoman, plunged and splashed and slipped and plunged. “What is DOWN THERE?!?!” I thought. “And why isn’t this working?”

But after a mere five or 10 minutes of this spectacle, it worked. IT WORKED! Down the drain went the water, swift and with a swirl. SWOOSH! The tub cleared completely! HOORAY! And this morning, the water didn’t back up at all. “I did it, I did it, I did it!!! I did something right and all on my own!” I boisterously sang as I danced about.

I was empowered. I was strong and fierce and conqueror of all things domestic. Me. Domestic.

So, in light of my recent victory, I’ve decided to keep the momentum going, to keep saying “I’ve had it.”

Best to dig out your hardhats because, until further notice, this hellcat is under construction. And I’m plunging all the clogs away….damn it.

Filed under: must be a sign, work in progress by Nic